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From Jane Thombs - Australia

You will meet perfectly respectable people, often by chance it seems, who will "befriend" you quite innocently. They will warn you of the hustlers, decrying them and very subtly help you without any pushiness and appear perfect gentlemen - often very religious and pious too.

Gradually, over time as they have earned your confidence (and honoured you by taking you to their family) a hard luck story will enfold - eg a member of family in hospital, death of a breadwinner, personal betrayal or bad luck in business - they know what to target.

I'm sure Jane's comments are truly expressed from her experiences but before you recoil back from every helpful Gambian stranger, who, however charming, is potentially one of Jane's 'nice guys' please think about the situation carefully.

The Gambia is a very poor country with very poor people. All visitors are considered to be 'rich'. If they were not relatively rich, they could never afford the airfare to get there in the first place. There are bumsters and hustlers who will ask for money in return for no goods or services, supporting them it is neither good for them or for the Gambia in the long run, but giving them money is often the easiest option - so they are encouraged. It is harder to say no - but better for everyone if you do.

Then there are the 'nice guys'. Jane describes them perfectly, but they do exist everywhere, not just in the Gambia. This is a form of salesmanship - first get a persons trust and belief in you or your product and then maybe they will buy something from you. There's not a sales person that I ever met who hasn't done the same to me and the bigger the stakes the more they pile it on.

It is particularly hurtful and embarrassing when you believe the person involved to be your close and trusted friend, not just into sales of some kind. So when they are exposed by their actions for what they really are you end up feeling foolish and angry.

This is a common enough experience, it is what we warn our children about, when they make new and passionate friendships "don't be disappointed if this person isn't everything they seem to be" we say.

BUT it is not a reason NOT to help someone who needs your help and support.

The Gambians have few natural resources to develop, but many have developed their own ability to be totally charming and attentive towards visitors. Don't expect more than that charm and attention in return for what you give them, while you are there or send them after you leave. If you expect more, you will possibly end up being hurt, disappointed and feeling very foolish. When you leave, remember someone else will be the centre of their attention - What else can you expect?

So be warned, nothing is for nothing in the West and it's no different in West Africa. they have less than us and maybe they have more problems, and certainly they have NO welfare state - so if they don't ask they don't get anything and they take refusal very casually, it's what they are used to.