Dear GTS
We have been visiting the Gambia for three years now and have found your site so useful for background information and advice, which we wish we had taken it now. We think your relationships page is an excellent idea and maybe you can help us sort out our feelings over a failed business arrangement we had in Gambia.

On our first visit we stayed at the ** hotel, the hotel was comfortable and had everything, the staff were friendly and really made the holiday for us - one young man in particular who was working in the hotel befriended us from day one, he took our bags to our room and the next day brought us a pineapple which he refused to take any money for.

We took him out that night for a meal, the first time he'd ever been in a western style restaurant. He ate very little saying he never ate such rich food or so much meat, we were quite ashamed that we spent more on the bill, than he earned in a whole week.

We were only there for a week but young M made such an impression on us that we saw him some part of everyday and despite his lack of education, he seemed wiser and older than his age, later we found he was actually 26 but he looked 16.

The night before we went home he invited us to his family compound where we met his sisters, brothers and his parents. It was a real eye opener, seeing all these people living in such a small house with no running water and even the electric went off during our visit and we all sat round a single candle with M translating for us as we chatted to everyone in his family and during our visit everyone in the whole village, who dropped in every few minutes to say hello. Only one of his sisters was at school and even then, she sometimes missed whole terms, as he was the only person in the family with a job. We could have cried, but got through the evening and actually it was the best night out we had, it was so personal and so intense.

During our visit, M never asked us for a thing, he gave us cigarettes when we were out, he always took us to the best and cheapest places to eat, when we were in taxis we had to force him to let us pay.

We booked to go back as soon as we got home and found your website. You had just had problems with your Lamin and although we discussed it in great depth we dismissed it as we were sure M was really our friend and your idea of giving Lamin a loan to buy a car to make a business seemed such a good way of helping.

We wrote to M to ask him how much a small car would cost so he could take tourists out for trips, we were sure he could earn more than he was making in the hotel.

He wrote us a lovely letter back saying this is what he had always prayed for, so he could help his family and a car was a good way to make money in Gambia and he could pay us back in maybe a year or at the most two years.
In a few weeks he had found what he said was a very good car being sold cheaply by a friend who was going to Europe, but he needed £1000.

Again we discussed it in light of your experience but went ahead and sent the money to him. M next sent us a picture of the car which didn't look very good at all, but he said he was having all the work needed on it done and having it all sprayed and it was all from the money we had sent.

We kept in touch with M throughout the year, his letters were much shorter now but he said he was very busy with the car, so we were pleased that he was earning good money with it.

When we went back last year M met us at the airport in the car and it did look very nice, it started first time and seemed road worthy at least by Gambian standards.
Again M was brilliant with us he picked us up at our hotel, not everyday, but on days when he didn't have people to take out.

One day he called to say he was going to be late he had a problem with the car, he rung back later saying it was a BIG problem, because the garage said the clutch needed replacing and another part needed replacing. He got a taxi to pick us up and we all went to the garage. The parts and work were going to be 3500 dalasi about £100. M said he didn't have the money to pay a big bill like that. We said that just from the trips he had done that week he should have enough to pay the bill, he just said he didn't, so what could we do to help. We talked to M over the next couple of days, about the money he had earned and how he said he was saving money to repay us, so why not use the money he had saved to repay the loan. He said his mother had been ill and he had had to spend the money to save her life, treatment is expensive in Gambia.

We asked why in his letters he hadn't told us, he said he did not want to worry us and his mother was very well now and they all had prayed for us because we had saved her. I think we wanted to be convinced and paid the garage. M was very happy and was telling everyone what wonderful people we were, his English Mum and Dad.

The day we left he brought presents from his family, and his sister came to the airport, we had given M the money for her next year's school fees and she was delighted, it was all very tearful at the airport saying goodbye and M said he'd definitely have the money for our next trip.

The letters from M were fewer and shorter during the year so it was with some apprehension that we went out this April.
M met us and everything seemed fine, just as before.

We went out for a meal and were all talking and joking for the whole meal, just as a joke we suggest that now M was a BIG businessman he could pay. His response was unbelievable, he just went mad, shouting and banging his fist on the table, swearing and saying we were never his friends, we were Babylon and Allah knew he was honest and we were trying to cheat him and ruin his name.
The waiter came over to calm him down and they ended up shouting at each other and finally the waiter suggested that he wait outside and calm down.
We paid the bill and actually rather frightened went out to see M.
He was nowhere to be seen, we went to where the car was parked and it was gone.

The next day we went to his parents compound, a neighbour said that he no longer lived there and no one knew where he lived or where we could find him.
We tried to call his mobile phone but no calls would go through.
We didn't see M for the rest of our stay, on the last day we went again to his family but again no one had seen him, his sister asked if we were paying for her school for the next year, we said we had to talk to M and left £5 for him to ring us in England.

Almost 8 weeks have gone, we have written and tried calling but have heard nothing.
We feel very let down and more than anything embarrassed, we told so many people in the UK about M and just can't understand what went wrong.
At the table M had told us that he had all the money for us and was now a businessman with his own car and people respected him. We do love Gambia and will probably go back, we can't believe that a joking comment can have caused this.

You seem to take these disappointments in your stride, what do you suggest we do & what in God's name makes you keep doing it?